Skunky's Big Italian Jersey/Philly Christmas Adventure

Happy New Year! Congratulations to this year's champion, Ed!! It seems like just yesterday you selected Alfred Morris in the draft and I laughed so hard I fell off the sofa....Mazel tov!! I won't dwell on the fact that I got Bengal-ed pretty hard in the first round of the playoffs.  Never trust a Ginger when fantasy football glory is on the line.

I'll be giving up the Skunky this year, which is very bittersweet. I had to take her on (at least) one last big adventure: Skunky's Big Italian South Jersey/Philly Christmas!!

Skunky herself is perilously glued to her base, so just she (not the engraved base) came along for the trip.  (I will mail a tube of crazy glue along with the trophy).  Here she is ready to hit the friendly skies...

with a little something to keep her company!

....and plenty of bubble wrap because Todd will murder me if she is crushed to death.

Tucked away in her home for the next 36 hours -

- God help me if Southwest loses my luggage!

They didn't. She made it safely to my parent's home in fabulous Marlton, New Jersey. Let's take a tour (Nan and Todd will enjoy it!):

Skunky at the front door!

Skunky takes in the Christmas tree!

I made this - and I am!! Skunky likes it. It's in the bathroom. Everyone needs positive reinforcement in the bathroom!

Where's Skunky? Amongst my nephew's awesome collection of completed Lego projects.

Merry Christmas Joe Montana!

Skunky is ready to play! Line her up next to a tight end...

 There are at least 10 other pieces of ND memorabilia in my old bedroom, but I'll spare you. I think you get the idea.  Just in case you don't, here's the view as you go downstairs!

Since Skunky survived 3000 miles of air travel, I figured she'd be ok in the hands of my nutty 2 year old nephew. What could go wrong?

Flynn loves her! One day I hope he will know what its like to hold a loser's trophy. I'd be so proud.

(Do you see Tim skulking in the background? He's thinking, "if she takes one more f&^%king photo of that thing I'm going to throw it off the Ben Franklin Bridge". And it's only Dec 23rd at this point!!)

Hosting Christmas Eve, the Feast of the Seven Fishes, requires the proper fuel.

 Reasons we will be leaving California sometime in the next few years:
      1 - Absurd rent/real estate prices
      2 - Apocalyptic drought conditions
      3 - No Dunkin Donuts.

Over the next week my daily DBV (Dunkin By Volume) would average about 0.10, well within the legal limits.

Caffeinated and ready to party:

 

  

She had a few drinks with my Mom and then flashed the mailman, which resulted in this:

We all wanted to see snow, but as you can tell from the photos, it was a balmy 72 degrees on Christmas Eve.  Cigars on the patio weather.

On Christmas Eve, we enjoy the Italian-American tradition of the Seven Fishes.  No one really knows what this means, but according to my grandmother, if you don't eat 7 it's bad luck for the next year.  So we start at 2 pm and eat until ~8 pm, or until we throw up, whichever comes first! Then have dessert and sambuca. 

Skunky, Shrimpies. Shrimpies, Skunky:

What does it take to get an amaretto sour around here?

 

Skunky with my cousins.

Sometimes, things get weird.

That would be my Dad.

Finding something she wanted under the Christmas tree:

 Nerf guns and Lazer Tag! Sweet.

Skunky has developed exotic tastes while living with me...

If you don't have friends in Australia who send you strangely delicious honeycomb-based candy for Christmas, you should get some!

 

 

and also a preference for sequins. We can't help it. I'm from Jersey.

 **********************************************
So the past few times I've been back to Philly, I've stopped by Art Machine Productions, my favorite tattoo establishment, for some fresh ink.  Maybe Skunky would look good inked, something to honor her new owner for 2016?

 In the end we decided Todd would not approve.

We took her to the Reading Terminal Market and then on the Market Frankford el (Skunky takes Septa) over to Yards Brewing, for some beer and shuffleboard. (Sorry no real pics, both places were packed.)

Tim and I are going to have our wedding festivities here. I would like Skunky to be there, if I don't "win" her back in 2016.  Just her, not the rest of you, you're not invited.

She also got to visit the Eastern State Penitentiary, for a little scared straight lesson. (She's wild!)

Tim is listening to Steve Buscemi tell us all about the prison....

Soon we had to head back to the Bay Area.  We did have one last exciting moment - look who else happened to be making their way out of Philly on Tuesday:

A photo, Chip, before Skunky is checked luggage?

Turn that frown upside down Chip!   You're the skunkiest of them all!

 Watch out asshole, she bites!!

Once again, Skunky defied the holiday travel season odds by making it safely back to SFO. She is now happily

back in her spot on the bookshelf....

....the center of a Kelce sandwich!!  Just how she likes it.

I've just received instructions from the Commish on the process of surrendering Skunky, so this will be her last big adventure with us.  I feel that this year truly has been Losing At Its Best.

Happy New Year!!

A Very Skunky Thanksgiving

Welcome back to a very special edition of Adventures of Skunky - Skunky's Thanksgiving Road Trip.
We took Jason Kelce along for the ride for some Thanksgiving good luck for the Eagles.

 It didn't help.

First stop - Joshua Tree National Park.

Skunky watching the campfire.

That's an ELEPHANT hat. Perverts.

Gratuitous photo of rocks.

Skunky in the great outdoors!!!

Next stop - Surprise, Arizona, home of my future in-laws. The Del Boca Vista of the Phoenix area.  Surprise, as in, "Surprise you're surrounded by old people waiting to die and take you out with them".

 Cars are less of a threat than golf carts coming at you down the wrong side of the street at 45 mph.

Skunky liked the artwork in the guest room:

And we watched the Lions-Eagles game with our furry friends.

Roxy

Gracie

By half time I was in need of consolation...

We'll get thru this shitshow together....

Tim's-eye-view of Skunky.

Pretty sure I had started drinking by this point, between the score and the in-laws.  Thank god for the dogs.
Skunky has since made it back to California and is now back on her place of dishonor on the bookshelf.  Unfortunately, I don't think she'd travel well on our upcoming Christmas trip to Jersey, because she really ought to visit Dunkin Donuts and Tony Luke's cheesesteaks....could I get her thru security if I said she was an emotional support animal?
Happy Thanksgiving!

Skunky and Her Two Tight End Set

{Not a lot of Skunky news to report lately, but Todd is doing so poorly to start the fantasy football season (along with the Eagles....and Notre Dame, who I'm predicting to fall apart like they usually do after a tough loss to a top team, and lose to Navy and Temple) I'm making him a pity-post for shits and giggles.}

So this little chippie has done some decorating while I'm at work:

Guess she gets lonely.  But TWO tight ends?! Control yourself, you jezebel!  

First playing coy with Travis...

You minx (Travis, that is).  Skunky is enamored with your blue eyes and your Yards After the Catch, currently leading all NFL TEs.

Oh hey Tyler....we were just in Cincinnati, but Eifert was out here having a monster game against Oakland!! Too bad we missed him. Or did we?....

 What the hell!?!

 AND JUST WHO WAS RESTING THEIR HEAD ON THAT PILLOW?

I think the next owner of Skunky should probably get her spayed.  She's out of control. 

I've already decided if I lose again this year, next year I'm just drafting the best looking players (starting with these two).   It will be a scientific study of how player attractiveness relates to fantasy football success - although I'm pretty sure the Manning brothers (and until recently, Andrew Luck) have already clearly shown that you can win ugly :-)
Until then:

Pray for Todd.  And don't leave Skunky alone with your tight ends.